Aparigraha

Today I'd like to discuss the joy of simplicity.

Aparigraha is the concept of non-posessiveness. It means to limit posessions to what is necessary or most important. It is a lifestyle embraced by people all over the world, and is beginning to grow a following in North America. In our culture it is known as 'voluntary simplicity' and more and more people are daily giving up their 'possession obsession' for a more fulfilling lifestyle.

Every object we own and every object we buy is something that we have to pay for, care for, clean and ultimately dispose of someday...and as I discussed in my last post, even when we throw things 'away', they never actually go 'away'. So why are we as a culture so obsessed with possessions? Why are we so wrapped up in our desire to purchase goods and services in ever greater amounts? Houses are getting bigger. Cars are getting fancier. Kids have so many toys that they forget about half of them, and always want something new and flashy they see on TV. For that matter, so do us adults. Why do we need to trade in our cell phones every few months for the newest model? Why do we need so many gadgets? Three living rooms? Two dining rooms? Five bathrooms? Three cars? So many clothes and shoes that it takes half an hour to choose what to wear? It's ridiculous! More importantly, why haven't we noticed that no matter how fancy our cars are, how many expensive pairs of shoes we have, how many applications our phone has, we aren't any happier than before?

I used to be a shopaholic. I couldn't have enough clothes. I didn't care too much about cell phones and computers and fancy cars, but I did have 5 different IPods. And guess what? None of that fulfilled me. Every time I went shopping I would lay out my new clothes and stare at them with a feeling of accomplishment and excitement. Then in a few minutes, hours or days that feeling would be gone and I would be back at the mall looking for my next 'high'. I'm sure many of you have experienced the same thing.

I've discovered the joy of simplicity by coincidence, not because I planned it. In the past few years, I've read articles online and in magazines about people who had embraced simplicity and found themselves more happy and fulfilled, and they always caught my eye and got me thinking about how nice that lifestyle sounded, but then I would usually close the magazine or shut off my computer, grab an iced cappuccino and hit the mall. I can't tell you how many times I considered giving away my stuff and living a simple existence. But I would also think to myself "Well, if you're going to change your lifestyle, you're going to need a new wardrobe, a new image." Yes, I do know how ridiculous that sounds. How I discovered the joy of simplicity is actually pretty funny. It started with me finding out I was pregnant.

For the first part of my pregnancy I had to cut back on spending because I knew I had a baby on the way, and my frivolous spending habits had to be reined in. Then I began to grow...and grow...and grow. As I grew, clothes started to get tighter...and tighter...and tighter, until eventually one morning I was trying to get dressed to go out and realized I had zero clothes that fit. So, with a limited amount of money, I had to go get a few things. I bought a couple of essentials...two pairs of pants, a good bra and a couple of shirts. Being someone who is used to being very fun and creative with what I wear, I felt a little depressed with my new boring monochromatic wardrobe. Everything I wore was either, black, grey or white. I found myself dressing outfits up with colourful scarves or fun jewellery that I had before but always took for granted. My wardrobe has grown a little bit since then, but not by much. Something I've learned from that experience is that it is wonderfully refreshing to be able to shower, brush my hair, dab some lotion on my face and throw on an outfit and be ready to go in 15 minutes. Freedom from fashion brainfreeze is just one of the perks I've noticed about my simple wardrobe.

I recently decided to take things further. I'm moving to Nova Scotia in a week, and I was constantly stressing about what to bring, what to leave, what to pack and send there by mail, how much I would be able to fit in my suitcase, what the weight limit on the plane was...etc. Then as I sat on my bed, exhausted and frustrated with this line of thinking I looked around and asked myself what I would truly miss if I simply left everything here except the necessities. I realized that aside from a couple of items that are very precious to me (a vase made by a friend, a jewellery box my grandfather bought my grandmother when they were teenagers, a picture frame, a few pictures, a set of windchimes, my two favourite books and my apron) I wouldn't miss much if I didn't bring it along. Since I haven't worn most of my clothes for months I knew I wouldn't miss them. I've already read all of my books, and could easily pick them up at a library if I wanted to read them again. I don't need 13 pairs of running shoes. I don't need 10 different flavours of scented candles. I don't need a collection of 100 DVD's. I really don't need 13 bottles of lotion in various scents or 7 different bottles of hair product. In fact, I don't even want any of this anymore. I was so disgusted looking around and thinking about how much money I've wasted on all of this stuff that I wanted to cry. I also wanted to go back in time and save all that money! In the end, I decided to donate most of my earthly possessions to the local soup kitchen and bring one suitcase with me on the plane, and mail a small box of my favourite keepsakes to make myself feel at home. That's it. That's all.

Realizing that possessions don't make me happy and deciding to give most of them away is such a free-ing choice to make. I feel light and unencumbered. I know if I wanted to move somewhere, I can pack up my small amount of belongings and just go. And I honestly don't miss any of it. I know the people who have my old things have very little and truly appreciate them more than I ever could. Fancy shirts I wore no more than twice and have forgotten about for the past two years are now the prized possessions of women who probably haven't owned anything nice in a long time. Knowing that belongings that mean so little to me have enriched someone else's life who normally wouldn't be able to afford such things is satisfying. More satisfying than any shopping trip I've ever been on.

Simplicity doesn't have to mean giving up all of your earthly posessions. We can weave simplicity into our lives in small ways. Yesterday I wanted to cheer up a friend, so I made her a homemade bracelet and homemade card, stuck them in an envelope and mailed them, which I know will go much further than a Hallmark card that costs $6.50 and took me no more time or thought than picking it out and writing a message in it. I have always enjoyed homemade gifts more then ones bought in a store. Why not give someone herbs you have carefully planted and tended to, or a scarf you've spent hours knitting with that person in mind, or a handpainted vase you made them? Those gifts mean so much more than things bought in a store. Simplicity can mean growing your own vegetables in a window garden. It can mean keeping one cell phone until it breaks or becomes obsolete. It can mean going for a walk with a loved one instead of spending $200 on a night out. The great thing about simplicity is that it's so simple.

I challenge you to give it a try. Next time you're out shopping, ask yourself if the item you're considering is something you really need. Put it back on the shelf and if you still want it in a week then go back and get it. Odds are you will have forgotten about it by then. Simplicity is easy, fun, and refreshing. I'm going to link to a few articles about voluntary simplicity that really moved me. I hope they inspire you!

Back to Basics: Living With Voluntary Simplicity

When Less Is More

Thoughts on Voluntary Simplicity